Friday, April 8, 2016

Favorites

The favorite child.  This is a hard thought to have but if you have siblings it has come into your mind at some point.  Who is the favorite child?  I am an only child so I have an interesting point of view on the subject. It seems that half of the psychologists out there say the first child is the favorite. The other half say the youngest is the favorite. But they all seem to agree that the middle child pulled the short straw in life.  Sorry middle kids.  It’s hard for adults to admit whether or not they actually have a favorite, but I think they do.  I don’t believe it has anything to do with age or birth order.  It has to do with a connection and if you can connect with your child then they will most likely be your favorite.  It’s not a question of loving one child more than another.  The love is equal but feelings are not.  
If a mother and father have a daughter and a son and the son is constantly defying them and ignoring his parents while the daughter listens and respects her parents then the daughter would most likely be the favorite.  This also works vice versa.  This is not based on sex.  The daughter could be the rebel while the son is the angel.  
The best thing to do is to just be yourself no matter if you are your parents favorite or not. Just know that they love you no matter what and that it's okay to not perfectly connect with your parents.  Not everyone does and that is just a part of individuality.  
If you are having some sort of crisis after reading this just sit back and breathe.  I have had a million crises thinking over these types of things.  See earlier in this post I lied to you.  I am not an only child; I have a half-sister who is twenty-nine.  I am seventeen so we were never really raised together.  There was a huge family shunning thing so there was a six-year gap where I never saw or talked to her.  So I was raised as an only child with the knowledge stored in the back of my mind that I actually had a sibling.  Weird right?  So my mother considered me her favorite because I was her only child and my father considered me his favorite because he was mad at my sister.  
Now I know what you are all thinking “Wow she must have been so spoiled”.  And to that all I have to say is… Nah I'm actually pretty chill.  I’ve never really felt like the favorite, more like the only.  I guess that changes my perspective on the whole sibling dynamic.  I really don’t understand how people can fight tooth and nail with their sibling yet still turn around and say they love them.  I guess I'm too literal for that kind of family dynamic.  If I don’t like you as a person then I sure as hell won’t say I love you.  I don’t care if you are family or not.  I can say right now that I have family that I would never say I love you too.  Now I'm not saying I wouldn’t pull them out of the path of a speeding car but I wouldn’t give up my firstborn for them.  I guess it’s all about perspective and how you were raised.
I have a thousand more opinions and stories featuring my family so if you guys want to see more of that or want to hear the full story about my half-sister then give me a comment and let me know!


Love,
Carrie

Friday, April 1, 2016

How Not to Help Disappointed Friends

A lot of people struggle when it comes to helping others who have recently been disappointed.  I was recently on the disappointed side.  I had tried out for my school play for a small role and I did not get the role.  To give you some background I am a senior in High School and this was my last chance to be in a play.  I had tried out once before as a freshman and didn't get the role because I sucked. I can admit to that.  Over the years, I have had a huge spike in confidence when it comes to public speaking and acting.  Turns out so had a lot of others in my school and the drama department grew as well.  
I am currently in two acting classes for fun and I am surrounded by very talented people.  People who have been acting in a lot of plays and had a lot of experience onstage and with the director.  It was also a small play with only 19 parts and since a couple hundred people were auditioning...  I knew that I most likely would not get the part but I tried out anyway.  I did not get the part, as I expected. I did not tell my friend about this because she doesn't like the drama department because they never gave her a part either.  She is used to succeeding but she never could in drama so she is pretty bitter toward it.  
I told her that I tried out for the play hoping for some sympathy and her response was less than satisfactory.  She started by telling me about how she never got in, insinuating that if she couldn't get in then I would have a snowball's chance in Hell, and how trying out for a play at our school is just asking to be disappointed, she then proceeded to tell me about how her choir was doing so great and that she was so smart for choosing this choir over the other one and so on and so forth.  Normally this wouldn't bother me but the fact that she has already told me this entire story twice, once over text and once in person, and that I was looking for her to be a bit more sympathetic I quickly became angry.  I didn't show any of this but instead quickly changed the subject to something light.
Guys, if you are comforting a disappointed friend here are some tips:


  1. Do not try to relate to them by talking about your life. You will just sound like a self-centered jerk. Period.
  2. Do not tell them that they should have expected the outcome.  SUPPORT don't tear down.
  3. Tell them that they are beautiful people who will have a thousand more chances to shine.


Thank you so much for reading and supporting me and remember that you are a beautiful person with thousands of chances to shine.


Love,
Carrie

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Hello Blogsphere!

I officially welcome you to my brand new blog!  If you are new here... well so am I.  We will just have to learn together.  This blog will be just what its name "Pieces of My Mind" suggest.  I will be sharing my thoughts and opinions on here as a sort of personal therapy for me and hopefully something fun for you to read.  I can also write about things that you guys suggest if I can!  Some posts will be happy and upbeat, some irritated and ranty, and some will be (hopefully) funny.  I am s happy that you are here reading this and I will try to upload as much as possible. If I don't then you are free to yell at me in the comments!


Love,


Carrie